There are three black helicopters hovering over my apartment. I asked my husband what he’d done this time but he denied all wrongdoing.
Right.
Anyway, I’ll try and write this, even as part of me expects a SWAT team to come barreling in at any moment. Not as if they’d mess the place up.
Oh well, bigger fish to fry, eh?
Like today…I was in the supermarket (no surprise) and standing in the 15 items or less line (that’s actually a surprise, usually I feel as if I have 115) and I only had one item (a loaf of bread).
The woman in front of me had 27 items, easy.
But I didn’t say anything because that would have been rude and I’m rude enough when I’m driving. I didn’t even do the sighing, eye-rolling thing that non-verbally lets the person in front of you know that you know that they’ve got way more than 15 items…
Here’s a question. When did it creep up from 10 items or less to 15? Remember those 10 items or less, cash only lines? I miss those.
Anyway, back to the lady with 27 items. She kept looking at me. Right in the face and I thought that was kind of weird. Was she daring me to say something about her 27 items? Did I have something gross on my face? I doubted it, I’m pretty obsessive about keeping my face clear of unwanted personal flotsam.
Finally, after forever had come and gone, it was her turn. She and the checkout lady were chatting and I realized that the lady of 27 items was a regular customer at that store. I was a regular customer at that store but did you see me flouting the rules? Running up and down the aisles tossing grapefruits at towers of cereal just to see them fall?? Noooo, I was behaving myself, going along, being polite (fat lot of good that did me).
Then I overhear the cashier saying that the reason there are only two check-stands open is because a bunch of people called in sick. Then the cashier leans in and says, “All the people that called in sick are new employees and not a one of them is over 25.”
The lady of 27 items nods her head and replies, “That whole generation is lazy.”
“Yeah, they’re all spoiled.”
The lady of 27 items nods again then she turns and looks at me, again right in the face, and I had no idea what she expected me to say.
Did she expect me to agree with a grossly unfair blanket statement regarding millions upon millions of people I don’t even know? Also, these women were in their late forties, early fifties. Weren’t they talking about the very generation they and their contemporaries had birthed and raised?
I obviously couldn’t see the expression on my face but the lady of 27 items took one look at me, flinched then quickly looked away.
Excellent! I had somehow managed to inherit my mother’s ‘you cannot honestly be this stupid” expression.
Hooray! I have been on the receiving end of that expression for years (and for good reason) but I had never managed to emulate it. The timing couldn’t have been better!
Personal victories are few and far between in my life and I wanted to savor this one but the cashier, having realized that I thought she and the lady of 27 items were both mean-spirited morons, back-pedaled from her original statement as she scanned my bread. I pretty much ignored her except when she said that maybe young people today were lazy because all their mothers had worked outside the home. How she came to that conclusion is still beyond me. I remained silent until she finally gave me my change. Then I turned, accepted my bag from the young woman who’d been standing there bagging groceries the entire time, gave her a friendly smile, thanked her and left.
And people wonder why young people have no manners…Gee, and they’ve got such stellar role models to go by.
Right.
Anyway, I’ll try and write this, even as part of me expects a SWAT team to come barreling in at any moment. Not as if they’d mess the place up.
Oh well, bigger fish to fry, eh?
Like today…I was in the supermarket (no surprise) and standing in the 15 items or less line (that’s actually a surprise, usually I feel as if I have 115) and I only had one item (a loaf of bread).
The woman in front of me had 27 items, easy.
But I didn’t say anything because that would have been rude and I’m rude enough when I’m driving. I didn’t even do the sighing, eye-rolling thing that non-verbally lets the person in front of you know that you know that they’ve got way more than 15 items…
Here’s a question. When did it creep up from 10 items or less to 15? Remember those 10 items or less, cash only lines? I miss those.
Anyway, back to the lady with 27 items. She kept looking at me. Right in the face and I thought that was kind of weird. Was she daring me to say something about her 27 items? Did I have something gross on my face? I doubted it, I’m pretty obsessive about keeping my face clear of unwanted personal flotsam.
Finally, after forever had come and gone, it was her turn. She and the checkout lady were chatting and I realized that the lady of 27 items was a regular customer at that store. I was a regular customer at that store but did you see me flouting the rules? Running up and down the aisles tossing grapefruits at towers of cereal just to see them fall?? Noooo, I was behaving myself, going along, being polite (fat lot of good that did me).
Then I overhear the cashier saying that the reason there are only two check-stands open is because a bunch of people called in sick. Then the cashier leans in and says, “All the people that called in sick are new employees and not a one of them is over 25.”
The lady of 27 items nods her head and replies, “That whole generation is lazy.”
“Yeah, they’re all spoiled.”
The lady of 27 items nods again then she turns and looks at me, again right in the face, and I had no idea what she expected me to say.
Did she expect me to agree with a grossly unfair blanket statement regarding millions upon millions of people I don’t even know? Also, these women were in their late forties, early fifties. Weren’t they talking about the very generation they and their contemporaries had birthed and raised?
I obviously couldn’t see the expression on my face but the lady of 27 items took one look at me, flinched then quickly looked away.
Excellent! I had somehow managed to inherit my mother’s ‘you cannot honestly be this stupid” expression.
Hooray! I have been on the receiving end of that expression for years (and for good reason) but I had never managed to emulate it. The timing couldn’t have been better!
Personal victories are few and far between in my life and I wanted to savor this one but the cashier, having realized that I thought she and the lady of 27 items were both mean-spirited morons, back-pedaled from her original statement as she scanned my bread. I pretty much ignored her except when she said that maybe young people today were lazy because all their mothers had worked outside the home. How she came to that conclusion is still beyond me. I remained silent until she finally gave me my change. Then I turned, accepted my bag from the young woman who’d been standing there bagging groceries the entire time, gave her a friendly smile, thanked her and left.
And people wonder why young people have no manners…Gee, and they’ve got such stellar role models to go by.